My Weekend

SATURDAY


ME: GOOOO APPLACHIAN!

SKY: (rains)

ME: Let's go to a restaurant and watch the game!

ROOMMATES: Um...there's a game?

ME: APPALACHIAN DON'T YOU KNOW?!?!?!

(Drives to Wit's Inn, a restaurant/bar up the road.)

ME: (noms pizza, watches game.)

SKY: (deluges)

ME: Um...there's a lot of water on the porch.

JENNIE: There's a lot of water on the road, too.

CAR: (floods)

ME: OMG MY CAR!!!!!!!!!!!

ROOMMATES: Gasp!

RESTAURANT EMPLOYEES: Well that sucks. At least you can watch the game!

RESTAURANT: (floods)

APPALACHIAN FOOTBALL TEAM: (loses)

ME: (leave my car there, go to Hagar's House, watch cars flood on street.)

SUNDAY

ME: (walk to Wit's Inn to get my car.)

CAR: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!?!?!?!?

ME: I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry please work.

CAR: (cranks)

ME: YAAAY!!!

(Drives to the church, water sloshing about inside the car.)

CAR: (pulls into driveway. Dies.)

ME: Oh noes!!!

(Texts all roommates for help.)

Five of Eight Roommates who responded to an 8:30 AM text on a Sunday Morning: "Here I come to save the day!!!!"

(Push car into parking space)

ME: (Fills a shop-vac full of water from my backseat.)

CAR: Why does she hates us, precious?